don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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