my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
