We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
