He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
