i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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