I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
