PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I could fuck to npr.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
