the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
