what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
