try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
