I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize