My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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