i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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