I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
