I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize