Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
