I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
