I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
