i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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