I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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