Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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