You're a womanizer and a bitch.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
