he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
