I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
