i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
