Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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