Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
