Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
