no, he came in my armpit
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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