He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I didn't notice because vodka
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
