So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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