Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
