Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Success! We fucked roommates!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
