i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
