Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
smell my finger.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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