Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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