Porn is love you can see.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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