We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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