A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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