either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
