last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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