Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
