he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
