The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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