I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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