new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
