She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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