I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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