I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
