I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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