is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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