no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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