i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
