So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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