You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
