Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
