oh god the rape fog is back!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
