White coat. Heels.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
