also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
