Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
