Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Randomize
